I can’t help remembering an Alumni reception I took my wife to at the Army-Navy Club in D.C. in the late 90s and how actually repelled some were that a 2 Masters Degrees wife was staying home and homeschooling our 6 kids. Some actually tried to make her feel guilty that she wasn’t contributing more to society. Then they would become indignant when my wife laughed at them….comfortable in her own skin.
This. "The solution is for mothers to discover that the brief years they spend with their children are more valuable to the whole course of human history than the money they earn." The only motherhood penalty I paid was the relentless marching of time. My, now 26 year old son, went from an infant to an adult in seconds, but oh the joy.
On 2nd thought, I do have a comment after watching the video. Some of the women are explicit about wanting success independent from their husbands and the success of their marriages:
"It put me totally financially dependent on my husband."
And again:
"My stability should not be dependent on the strength of my marriage and my ability to resolve things in my marriage."
In other words, "I need to be able to thrive even if we make a shipwreck out of our marriage." I guess it sounds mean, but that sort of thinking is just alien to me and Cindy. In our view, folks should view the Marriage Covenant as stronger and more dependable than any government-run program such as Social Security.
I really felt that bit about the lack of respect for what a stay at home mom does being more difficult than the lack of compensation. That’s the part I found the most difficult-going from being a Major in the Army with a masters degree to being “just” a stay at home mom. Not only that-but the women who were working would somehow subconsciously feel guilty about it and have to tell you how you were “lucky” and how their circumstances made it so they just couldn’t stay home. Which was completely dismissive of the choices and compromises one has to make to stay home. And of course it’s fun when your teen or young adult kids say it was nice that your were home but insist they would have turned out the same if you had been at work.
All that said-given the chance again I’d still have stayed home. I thank God for leading me to that choice, and I’m so sad about the young women in my life who have fallen prey to the “it’s best to have a career” baloney.
I wonder how Steinbeck would have felt, knowing that not only that materialism had finally conquered the American psyche but also utilized words like equality, independence, and justice in its final victory. I cant help but think of Grapes of Wrath in which he pits a small, Oklahoma farming family against the financial mechanisms of society, and where he shows them constantly drawing from a richer well, understanding their wealth to be something beyond a financial measuring stick. Motherhood in the novel, is a primary expression of the strength of the soul, and in a way, is the final hope given at the end of the novel. It would make sense then, that, the great mechanism of materialism would identify motherhood as its greatest enemy and do its best to devalue it, or rather, to assign it material value and once again gut any last notion of spiritual value remaining in our culture.
My husband and I listened to the video and now we’re angry, too. And sad. I can’t describe the visceral response I have to assigning monetary value (or loss) to a human being, much less one’s own child.
I could write a book, but I’ll just say I’m thankful for Christian voices like Katy Faust bringing children’s needs and rights to the fore. Maybe some will listen and be rescued from the ocean of pain.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the Mike Winger/Elijah episode, too. I admire Elijah’s earnestness in wanting to reform Bethel, but I’m doubtful it can or should be done.
I thought it was sad that the positive comments were limited to a brief segment by three women at the end.
My dad worked for over 40 years at a job & employer he hated so that he could offer his wife and family the security that these women disdain. Because of his choice, my mother was able to stay at home with her children and benefit from his social security and pension. That sounds like a good thing to me.
I have always felt that American woman have blessed lives because they do not have to do the same thing their whole lives. My life was different because I was a missionary, but my sister-in-law in the US stayed home with her children a few years (although I realize many women cannot nowadays). Later she got a job, and when she got tired of that, she went back for a second master's degree and started a new career. This was possible all because her husband chose to stick it out at his occupation to support them. (Unlike my dad, I think he liked his job, but he still didn't have the flexibility he allowed his wife).
My dad also worked a dreadful job with dreadful people in order to support our family and provide for my parents' retirement. Without Christ, the toxicity of his workplace flared out in anger in our home, but divorce was never an option for either of them. Their years as grandparents were the sweetest in their lives.
I was wondering how you would answer that video and as usual you didn’t disappoint. Your words help me articulate to my sphere of influence and possibly encourage a mom who is feeling the angst our culture offers. It’s an offering to mistrust -“Did He really say…?” old as the garden and we’re still buying it. The solution helps us recognize and fight the lie. Thank you!
"My stability should not be dependent on the strength of my marriage and my ability to resolve things in my marriage." What? One's emotional, physical, spiritual, economic, and well-being (and, therefore one's children's) are inextricably linked to the well-being of one's marriage. The two have become one. While I appreciate that men, in general, come out of broken marriages with more money and security, no one comes out a winner.
I can’t help remembering an Alumni reception I took my wife to at the Army-Navy Club in D.C. in the late 90s and how actually repelled some were that a 2 Masters Degrees wife was staying home and homeschooling our 6 kids. Some actually tried to make her feel guilty that she wasn’t contributing more to society. Then they would become indignant when my wife laughed at them….comfortable in her own skin.
This. "The solution is for mothers to discover that the brief years they spend with their children are more valuable to the whole course of human history than the money they earn." The only motherhood penalty I paid was the relentless marching of time. My, now 26 year old son, went from an infant to an adult in seconds, but oh the joy.
Well said, Anne!! Thank you!
I've nothing to add today.
On 2nd thought, I do have a comment after watching the video. Some of the women are explicit about wanting success independent from their husbands and the success of their marriages:
"It put me totally financially dependent on my husband."
And again:
"My stability should not be dependent on the strength of my marriage and my ability to resolve things in my marriage."
In other words, "I need to be able to thrive even if we make a shipwreck out of our marriage." I guess it sounds mean, but that sort of thinking is just alien to me and Cindy. In our view, folks should view the Marriage Covenant as stronger and more dependable than any government-run program such as Social Security.
I really felt that bit about the lack of respect for what a stay at home mom does being more difficult than the lack of compensation. That’s the part I found the most difficult-going from being a Major in the Army with a masters degree to being “just” a stay at home mom. Not only that-but the women who were working would somehow subconsciously feel guilty about it and have to tell you how you were “lucky” and how their circumstances made it so they just couldn’t stay home. Which was completely dismissive of the choices and compromises one has to make to stay home. And of course it’s fun when your teen or young adult kids say it was nice that your were home but insist they would have turned out the same if you had been at work.
All that said-given the chance again I’d still have stayed home. I thank God for leading me to that choice, and I’m so sad about the young women in my life who have fallen prey to the “it’s best to have a career” baloney.
So beautiful Anne!
I wonder how Steinbeck would have felt, knowing that not only that materialism had finally conquered the American psyche but also utilized words like equality, independence, and justice in its final victory. I cant help but think of Grapes of Wrath in which he pits a small, Oklahoma farming family against the financial mechanisms of society, and where he shows them constantly drawing from a richer well, understanding their wealth to be something beyond a financial measuring stick. Motherhood in the novel, is a primary expression of the strength of the soul, and in a way, is the final hope given at the end of the novel. It would make sense then, that, the great mechanism of materialism would identify motherhood as its greatest enemy and do its best to devalue it, or rather, to assign it material value and once again gut any last notion of spiritual value remaining in our culture.
My husband and I listened to the video and now we’re angry, too. And sad. I can’t describe the visceral response I have to assigning monetary value (or loss) to a human being, much less one’s own child.
I could write a book, but I’ll just say I’m thankful for Christian voices like Katy Faust bringing children’s needs and rights to the fore. Maybe some will listen and be rescued from the ocean of pain.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the Mike Winger/Elijah episode, too. I admire Elijah’s earnestness in wanting to reform Bethel, but I’m doubtful it can or should be done.
Every word…yes.
I thought it was sad that the positive comments were limited to a brief segment by three women at the end.
My dad worked for over 40 years at a job & employer he hated so that he could offer his wife and family the security that these women disdain. Because of his choice, my mother was able to stay at home with her children and benefit from his social security and pension. That sounds like a good thing to me.
I have always felt that American woman have blessed lives because they do not have to do the same thing their whole lives. My life was different because I was a missionary, but my sister-in-law in the US stayed home with her children a few years (although I realize many women cannot nowadays). Later she got a job, and when she got tired of that, she went back for a second master's degree and started a new career. This was possible all because her husband chose to stick it out at his occupation to support them. (Unlike my dad, I think he liked his job, but he still didn't have the flexibility he allowed his wife).
My dad also worked a dreadful job with dreadful people in order to support our family and provide for my parents' retirement. Without Christ, the toxicity of his workplace flared out in anger in our home, but divorce was never an option for either of them. Their years as grandparents were the sweetest in their lives.
I was wondering how you would answer that video and as usual you didn’t disappoint. Your words help me articulate to my sphere of influence and possibly encourage a mom who is feeling the angst our culture offers. It’s an offering to mistrust -“Did He really say…?” old as the garden and we’re still buying it. The solution helps us recognize and fight the lie. Thank you!
Anne, you really knocked it out of the park with this (again). “…and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
Well said and I love the painting!
"My stability should not be dependent on the strength of my marriage and my ability to resolve things in my marriage." What? One's emotional, physical, spiritual, economic, and well-being (and, therefore one's children's) are inextricably linked to the well-being of one's marriage. The two have become one. While I appreciate that men, in general, come out of broken marriages with more money and security, no one comes out a winner.