Seven Crazy Christian Takes

Another Thank You, Unburdened by What Has Been, Funerals for Wicked People, Rev Karla, Christians for Kamala, Recanting, and Tweet of the Week

It’s Friday! Except that, as I am currently on holiday, every day is Friyay. Matt got caught in bad weather and didn’t land in San Antonio until quite late, but now that he is here we are all happily disarranging this comfortable Airbnb, each with our own headphones on, in our private angular worlds as usual. Let’s see if I can rustle up some takes.

One

Wanted to say another big thank to all of you who commented yesterday that you feel this blog is good value for money. I’m so delighted to hear that it is a good deal, perhaps even a bargain. At a minimum of five posts a week, sometimes more, with a side of whimsy, what more could you possibly desire? Except maybe a box of Leonidas.

For almost as long as I’ve been blogging my guiding motto has been Let Me Be Your Morning Cup Of Coffee:

Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

Except that lately, it’s been more like Let Me Be Your Daily Elevenses, or Let Me Perk Up Your Hurried Luncheon Before You Rush Back To Work. If I can but post *almost* every day I feel I will have really done something with my life.

Two

In the early days of being a mother on the verge of succumbing to overwhelm and not being inclined toward knitting or sourdough, nor being as beautiful as someone like Ballerina Farm, nor as driven and focused as that old blogger Et Tu Jen (remember her?), I thought I would indulge myself in a little light blogging and so aimed to post two or three times a week. I could stop any time, I told myself, and probably would when life got busy. But then, you know, as others lost interest as the heady days of Blogger fizzled out under the bright glory of Facebook, I flung myself into a torrent of content production, for a while blogging seven days a week. I justified this extreme lifestyle choice by reminding myself that the internet is a dumpster fire anyway, what’s a little bit more junk added to the growing heap. But then I began to really enjoy myself and so justified my habit by calling it my “me time.” I would earn my writing hour by homeschooling the children. Then Substack came along proferring concrete evidence of what can be, unburdened by the fickle, changeable algorithm of what had been. I discovered that it’s not a matter of only amusing myself, but that sometimes I occasionally even amuse other people. I have, by the invention of this brilliant platform, been positioned for success—probably, unless something terrible happens and we again come under the thumb of Zuck or whoever owns TikTok.

Three

Matt had a piece in CRJ this week about what to do at a funeral of someone who lived a less than exemplary life. Check it out:

David wrote in a psalm, “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you” (Psalms 139:11–12). In the darkness of Elizabeth’s womb, John the Baptist, only six months from his conception, his body and mind still being knit together, rejoiced in the light of Christ (Luke 1:44). After a life of lawlessness and rebellion, death looming before him, a nameless man, his hands and feet pierced by nails, fixed to a wooden cross, joined the crowd and the Pharisees and the chief priests to heap his insults on Jesus of Nazareth as He suffered beside him. Then, suddenly, his eyes were opened as well as his ears and his heart, and he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And Jesus answered him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:42–43). On his deathbed, after a life of excess and violence, Henry VIII had lost his ability to speak. Archbishop Thomas Cranmer “sat with him and held his hand….[He] asked the king to make some sign that he placed his trust in Jesus Christ. Henry squeezed [his] hand, and then died.”

That last vignette hits home. I have, in the last twenty-two years, sat beside many people on their deathbeds. Some have been men or women who had, up to the point of my visit, rejected Jesus and repudiated the church. The approach of death tends to heighten a person’s spiritual senses. It is easy to scoff at heaven and hell when you are young and healthy, and the sun is shining. But when you are lying in a hospital bed with the respirator whirring and the tubes and needles pressing into your flesh, mortality and the weakness of the body and the fear of judgment rise up so that the conscience cannot so easily escape them. It is here that the pastor has the great task and privilege of setting out the offer of God’s pardon through faith in Jesus Christ with the confidence that, whatever a person’s medical condition or mental state, darkness is not dark to Him and His light is as bright as the day.

Read the whole thing. And here is the podcast he recorded with Melanie:

Four

A dear friend introduced me to the phenomenon of Rev Karla this week. Check out this fresh hell:

@revkarlaFollow @DofD Faith Leaders #revkarla

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It’s like if Mr. Rogers was a lady who was literally trying to burn everything down:

@revkarlaThank you & video credits to @GoddessMia🇭🇹 @north_omaha_cat_lady @Shennaigans @Stephanie Jo Warren #revkarla #harriswalz #christiansforkamala

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Or, as I said to my friend, Gramma got possessed by Satan:

revkarla

A post shared by @revkarla

The really horrifying thing is how many followers she has. If you go to her website there’s all kind of junk you can buy, including something called “Sundays With Rev Karla” where, for ten dollars a month, you can

• Reconnect with Sundays and discover spiritual connection and inspiration in the comfort of your home.

• Weekly Sunday teaching videos from Rev Karla delivered directly to your email inbox.

• Weekly Sunday Reflection worksheets that dive deeper into Sunday’s video teaching. These include contemplative journal prompts that expand on the teaching and offer further insight to expand your knowledge and understanding from the teaching.

• Special teaching from Rev Karla titled: "The Sacredness of the Spiritual Wilderness.”

• Unrestricted access to Rev Karla’s Vault featuring Contemplative Spiritual Practices, Breathwork Exercises, and Prayers and Meditations.

• Access to Rev Karla’s Facebook group, fostering deep connections with others on similar journeys.

• Monthly Facebook Lives, providing you the opportunity to ask Rev Karla your questions.

Most of her TikTok is occupied with taking down Christian Nationalism and Project 2025. I plan to read her forthcoming book on Deconstruction, because of course I do.

Five

I hadn’t heard of Christians for Kamala. They believe that Ms. Harris “embodies the true teachings of Jesus.” From their page:

This is a hopeful movement of followers of Jesus who believe that empathy matters, that character counts, and that kindness is the better path. We are human beings of deep faith from every disparate corner of this nation who are tired of being defined by cruelty, exclusion, and hatred.

We proudly support Vice President Kamala Harris as she champions true Christian values embodied in the teachings of Jesus. Now more than ever, we need to bring our personal spiritual convictions to bear and to speak with our voices, our time, our resources, and our votes.

Is this….is *this* “Christian Nationalism?”

I don’t know about you, but Ms. Harris seems like just the sort of person we would end up with as a President. Soon it will be time for me to go bury my head in the sand, or rather, a cavern of expensive cheese.

Six

This is so funny…because it’s hideously true

johnbcrist

A post shared by @johnbcrist

Seven

I’m going to try and start ending my Takes, when I manage them, with a vignette I will call Tweet Of The Week, which will be something fun, ridiculous, or insane. This week, I present to you with this account, and this funny tweet:

That’s Redeemed Zoomer on the left, and a stock photo of a character called Pastor Susan who shows up in a lot of GnomeBasedman’s tweets.

And now, if you will excuse me, I have to lie about in the pool. Have a lovely weekend! (If you’re into that sort of thing.)