Woke Chicks in Space

A Meditation Upon Katy Perry, the Feminine Divine, and Jesus

File: Gospel Book, Second Coming of Christ, Walters Manuscript W.540, fol. 14v.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

I confess, I couldn’t help myself. I did go and watch Jeff Bezos prying open the Blue Origin space capsule containing Katy Perry, whoever it is he is shacking up with, and the other people of whom I have no knowledge and, therefore, cannot possibly be expected to remember their names. And the reason I buckled and watched it is because of brilliant tweets like this one from someone named Three Year Letterman:

Today, Katy Perry became the first human since Neal Armstrong and Buzz Peterson to set foot on another planet What an amazing moment for America, which proved once again why it is the oldest and greatest country on earth

And greg16676935420, who said, and I quote:

I’m convinced the Katy Perry moon landing was faked

And Jeremy London (@SirJeremyLondon), who said:

Katy Perry is the only person who ever got less cool after visiting space

And Rob Boyd, who rejoiced that:

Finally Katy Perry takes the mantle from Meghan Markle, as the world’s most annoying person

So, because it would be super wasteful just to catalogue all these tweets and not work through the deep thoughts Ms. Perry had when she emerged from that life-changing experience, we will do just that. Life isn’t all peaches and sunshine. It is a vale of tears, especially this week. Consider it a kind of Holy Week Penance.