Wise People Make Things Better For Everyone

In Which I Laboriously Work Through That Pronatalist WaPo Article

File: There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children, she knew not what to do, Some she had nursed, and some bottle fed, but those raised on Nestle's food came out far ahead. Nestle's Mother Goose series. (front) - 820.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Is this the end times? Asking for a friend. Also, every day it snows a little more up here in the frozen tundra. It’s Hallmark Christmas level idyllic, and simultaneously annoying. Probably you were not thinking about the weather I have to endure, but were wondering what piece of real estate President Trump is planning to occupy next, and so, perhaps missed this article in the Washington Post. It’s called “The couple who want to make America procreate again.” This couple calls themselves “techno-puritans,” “a religion they founded and have registered with the IRS.” They are committed to having as many children as they reasonably can, for the salvation of the world. The piece has some pretty interesting bits, and I had many thoughts. Here is how it begins:

It’s a new year, which, for Simone Collins, means a new pregnancy. This will be her sixth pregnancy since 2019, and, if all goes well, Collins will bear her fifth child by December. She approaches each the way an endurance athlete does a marathon. She and her husband, Malcolm, have waited exactly nine months since the birth of their last child, Industry Americus (“Indy” for short), to give Simone’s body adequate time to recover.

Truly, you might want to click on the article, because Simone Collins is wearing an epic hat in many of the pictures. They call it that Handmaid’s Tale hat but really, it’s just a brilliant straw bonnet and I am covered in envy—not for the lifestyle, nor for the names of the children which strike me as more than a little bit culty, but just for the hat.