I am always in awe that with all you have in your life, Anne, you still manage to write and publish these insightful articles- while I keep wondering how to scrape together a little time and energy to think through even a thought and try to write it down. So far I just get to the thinking over a cup of coffee and then my day overtakes me.
I've always loved that answer that David gave to Michal.
David is my favorite Bible character. I love the idea of a warrior/king/musician/poet. It ticks all the important boxes for me, since "race car driver" was not available in his time.
My father was (probably for good reason) named David. He was a warrior (USMC Major) and a poet. He used to quote us his favorite poetry "by the yard" when we were kids.
“Like rage, contempt is usually satisfying in the moment. It is the kind of emotional register that can carry a person through a lot of stressful times.”
Ouch!
And yet, calling upon the Lord, although humbling, heals the soul and often the relationship.
Perhaps the marriage studiers in question are the Gottmans but I'm not at all sure. I'm not familiar with their work but read somewhere that they observed if one spouse rolls their eyes while the other is speaking, that little gesture of contempt is diagnostic of a marriage in serious trouble.
Will pray your preparations go well today and that the vegetables roast to a turn!
"He cultivated the gift of blaming other people for his problems" is a beautiful and poignant sentence.
Don't we all at least flirt with this? Ouch. And the rest of it...certainly grounds for reflection, all around.
I believe, as Ann Marshall already mentioned, that you are thinking of the Gottmans for the bit about contempt spelling the death knell for marriage. I at least definitely remember reading that on their website at some point, I think it was their more or less original observation (officially, at least; I doubt they were the first people, in practice, to observe that reality).
I am always in awe that with all you have in your life, Anne, you still manage to write and publish these insightful articles- while I keep wondering how to scrape together a little time and energy to think through even a thought and try to write it down. So far I just get to the thinking over a cup of coffee and then my day overtakes me.
However you do it, I’m really glad you do.
I've always loved that answer that David gave to Michal.
David is my favorite Bible character. I love the idea of a warrior/king/musician/poet. It ticks all the important boxes for me, since "race car driver" was not available in his time.
My father was (probably for good reason) named David. He was a warrior (USMC Major) and a poet. He used to quote us his favorite poetry "by the yard" when we were kids.
“Like rage, contempt is usually satisfying in the moment. It is the kind of emotional register that can carry a person through a lot of stressful times.”
Ouch!
And yet, calling upon the Lord, although humbling, heals the soul and often the relationship.
Perhaps the marriage studiers in question are the Gottmans but I'm not at all sure. I'm not familiar with their work but read somewhere that they observed if one spouse rolls their eyes while the other is speaking, that little gesture of contempt is diagnostic of a marriage in serious trouble.
Will pray your preparations go well today and that the vegetables roast to a turn!
I have a close friend whose marriage is failing catastrophically as we speak and this is something his wife has done to him.
Oh, ouch. I think a physical analogy would be, "I'm sorry, your cancer has spread to your liver."
"He cultivated the gift of blaming other people for his problems" is a beautiful and poignant sentence.
Don't we all at least flirt with this? Ouch. And the rest of it...certainly grounds for reflection, all around.
I believe, as Ann Marshall already mentioned, that you are thinking of the Gottmans for the bit about contempt spelling the death knell for marriage. I at least definitely remember reading that on their website at some point, I think it was their more or less original observation (officially, at least; I doubt they were the first people, in practice, to observe that reality).