My husband and I used the old vows, although for some reason we used a Church of Ireland version of the 1662 that had recently been printed (this was 2008). The priest who married us, though allegedly conservative/evangelical (we were a couple of years away from becoming full-fledged Presbys), gave us a rather hard time about it. “Are you sure you want to say that?…Remember these are VOWS you are taking,” as if it were hardly believable that we would choose to avow such things in public. Yes, that’s why we went to the trouble of studying and choosing this service. We did some foolish things in our 20s, but that wasn’t one of them, and I have never regretted it.
I had a flash of "What have I done?!" horror as we were introduced to the gathered witnesses as Mr. and Mrs.. It wasn't that I doubted my husband, God, or marriage. I knew how flawed I was (am), and the magnitude of the vows I had made came into sharp focus. I can never love my husband, or anyone else, the way Jesus has modeled, apart from Jesus loving through me. It is a paradox of grace.
You can be sure you are engaged in a great work for God when you face so much opposition. I believe Lord Peter Wimsey and Miss Harriet Vane were also married according to the 1662 vows.
From Busman's Honeymoon by that genius Dorothy L. Sayers:
"Helen obligingly presented us with a copy of the new form of marriage service, with all the vulgar bits left out--which was asking for trouble. Peter very funny about it--said he knew all about the "procreation of children," in theory though not in practice, but that the "increase of mankind" by any other method sounded too advanced for him, and that, if he ever did indulge in such dangerous amusements, he would, with his wife's permission, stick to the old-fashioned procedure. He also said that, as for the "gift of continence," he wouldn't have it as a gift, and had no objection to admitting as much. At this point, Helen got up and left the house, leaving P. and Harriet to wrangle over the word "obey." P. said he would consider it a breach of manners to give orders to his wife, but H. said, Oh, no--he'd give orders fast enough if the place was on fire or a tree falling down and he wanted her to stand clear. P. said, in that case they ought both to say "obey," but it would be too much jam for the reporters. Left them to fight it out. When I came back, found Peter had consented to be obeyed on condition he might "endow" and not "share" his worldly goods. Shocking victory of sentiment over principle."
My daughter is getting married in 6.5 weeks! So it’s been so good for me to follow along as you married off your daughter-helping me keep things in perspective for sure. And her dress and shawl, exquisite! I keep reminding myself that something will go “wrong” (rain) or at least not as planned (even I got kicked in the head at my wedding reception during the dancing!) but it’s ok, it’s all going to be ok.
loved reading all your wedding news... esp the story about finding your dress for $5.00. I think I paid more than that for the dress I wore as mother of the bride/mother of the groom...but I have found it amusing that for all my children's weddings (4 of our 5 are married), I wore the same dress for every one... it started as an accident or convenience - but then became a "thing". If my youngest son ever weds, I hope to still be able to FIT into the same dress for the final wedding family photo... It's not a $5.00 dress, but the best I could do! Blessings on your family, and Emma and Ben!
I have a lot of thoughts. First, congratulations!! Second, I feel like I just got my oldest graduated from high school and now she’s discussing marriage with her college boyfriend and I’m not sure I’m ready for this. ALSO, what a blessing to find a mate young. More and more are choosing to “love” themselves over commitment to another person in holy matrimony and I do actually agree that it’s more rare to choose marriage.
My daughter asked me if her dad and I wrote our own vows, and I said absolutely not. We used the traditional vows, because marriage is serious business. In contrast I remember my younger cousin getting married and their vow to “stay hot” for each other, and I just don’t see how that’s 1. Attainable, and 2. Helpful when life goes sideways.
Anyway, the title of your post immediately made me giggle and think “oh no” because as an elder millennial <slash> Gen X-er, I know to what song you were referring.
Yes! While watching various TikTok clips of Europeans (and the odd South African) going into raptures, especially over the food, my husband was questioning what they are eating in Europe, especially what they are doing to their meats. Then I reminded him how we feel about the bread in Europe and the lengths I've gone just to get a decent croissant in America, and he then understood. Although my friend/realtor did once drop off croissants from a French bakery about a 40 minute drive from us that is in a direction we just never drive (in Houston Metro traffic) which ALMOST makes it worse. I have eaten THE most delicious bread products in Germany, Italy, Ukraine, and even IRELAND- so it doesn't need to be a French Bakery, but it does need to be European.
What has taken the Internet by storm, I think, is the fact that after decades of the media telling everyone how dangerous America is, with all our guns, and how ugly Americans allegedly are, so how terrible this World Cup was going to be, for the parts in the US, and people believe it. Even Americans. And the tourists descended on America, not just on Orlando and NYC, and are shocked and awed at how nice things are and how friendly the people, particularly in the South, and are undoing decades of propaganda to the contrary. Bridget Phetasy said it's the 250th birthday present America needed. :)
The Sunday game Germany v Curacao might have been interrupted by torrential rains (we were interrupted by it on our drive to drop our 8 yr old off at camp) but NRG stadium in Houston has a roof. LOL
My ECA Priest wouldn't even consider the 1622 vows. He wouldn't even do Rite I. :P
Exactly, this is like a world's fair for us! This is the 250th birthday present.
American media would gladly have you believe that Europeans would all come over here and lecture and protest, but I love that the truth is more fun than the propaganda!
Isn’t it wonderful when you’ve planned and worked and fretted over and prayed about an event, and then the day comes and God just pours out His glorious blessings on you and your family and your guests? Then your prayers change from “Help!” to “Thank you, Father, for blessing us more than we thought possible.” Thank you, Anne, for sharing this with us.
As theatre superstition puts it: "Bad dress rehearsal; great opening night." Better to have rained at the rehearsal dinner than the day of! Emma looks lovely in her beautiful gown and shawl! And the lucky man's name is? Blessing upon blessing upon the fortunate couple. To have fund one another--isn't God good! May Christ always be the center of their marriage. And save some berry cobbler for me! Yummy!! Get some rest!
It's amazing how so many people no longer take their marriage vows seriously. If they decide they are not happy, they file for divorce. They aren't willing to acknowledge that they are committing a terrible betrayal. If we are going to allow no-fault divorce, perhaps we should change the wedding vows. Instead of "til death do us part," they should be "til one of us no longer feels like it." At least then, divorce wouldn't be a betrayal.
I remember the shock I felt when my oldest son joked about “starter marriages” as if you could practice such a thing…he’s on his second marriage as I write this. I sometimes wonder at how my children have viewed and examined their parents’ long and happy marriage…how could they not learn SOMEthing from our quarrels and apologies and fidelity and faith? Thank Our Precious Savior for redemption and mercy and grace.
Dearest Anne, Fret not your heart, those forks and spoons are in the trash. For most of my adult years have been spent married to one man and our 8 children. Together we have produced people who will accidentally throw away the spoons and knives. Plastic plates we will use but hardly ever a plastic fork or spoon. You get the idea. Knives just don’t get used as much. I don’t think much of the population, even at church pot lucks, is much different. It really should be scientifically studied.
Excellent words! Read some of them to my wife. You are, in a sense, a kindred spirit with our youngest daughter. She is a lawyer who left the legal profession to stay at home and raise her two children. She has always bought her clothes at thrift stores and Goodwill. Got her wedding gown on ebay for $100, then paid $30 to have it cleaned. So the $5 dress definitely struck a chord. Congratulations and prayers for you and the new married couple!
Our eldest daughter married in 2004, and her sister in 2005. They were beautiful weddings - one in summer, and the other right before Christmas with seasonally appropriate decorations and arrangements.
Preparing for a wedding does involve a lot of work, stress, and even tribulation. It’s like life; and then, the celebration is like finally being in heaven!
My husband and I used the old vows, although for some reason we used a Church of Ireland version of the 1662 that had recently been printed (this was 2008). The priest who married us, though allegedly conservative/evangelical (we were a couple of years away from becoming full-fledged Presbys), gave us a rather hard time about it. “Are you sure you want to say that?…Remember these are VOWS you are taking,” as if it were hardly believable that we would choose to avow such things in public. Yes, that’s why we went to the trouble of studying and choosing this service. We did some foolish things in our 20s, but that wasn’t one of them, and I have never regretted it.
I had a flash of "What have I done?!" horror as we were introduced to the gathered witnesses as Mr. and Mrs.. It wasn't that I doubted my husband, God, or marriage. I knew how flawed I was (am), and the magnitude of the vows I had made came into sharp focus. I can never love my husband, or anyone else, the way Jesus has modeled, apart from Jesus loving through me. It is a paradox of grace.
You can be sure you are engaged in a great work for God when you face so much opposition. I believe Lord Peter Wimsey and Miss Harriet Vane were also married according to the 1662 vows.
From Busman's Honeymoon by that genius Dorothy L. Sayers:
"Helen obligingly presented us with a copy of the new form of marriage service, with all the vulgar bits left out--which was asking for trouble. Peter very funny about it--said he knew all about the "procreation of children," in theory though not in practice, but that the "increase of mankind" by any other method sounded too advanced for him, and that, if he ever did indulge in such dangerous amusements, he would, with his wife's permission, stick to the old-fashioned procedure. He also said that, as for the "gift of continence," he wouldn't have it as a gift, and had no objection to admitting as much. At this point, Helen got up and left the house, leaving P. and Harriet to wrangle over the word "obey." P. said he would consider it a breach of manners to give orders to his wife, but H. said, Oh, no--he'd give orders fast enough if the place was on fire or a tree falling down and he wanted her to stand clear. P. said, in that case they ought both to say "obey," but it would be too much jam for the reporters. Left them to fight it out. When I came back, found Peter had consented to be obeyed on condition he might "endow" and not "share" his worldly goods. Shocking victory of sentiment over principle."
My daughter is getting married in 6.5 weeks! So it’s been so good for me to follow along as you married off your daughter-helping me keep things in perspective for sure. And her dress and shawl, exquisite! I keep reminding myself that something will go “wrong” (rain) or at least not as planned (even I got kicked in the head at my wedding reception during the dancing!) but it’s ok, it’s all going to be ok.
loved reading all your wedding news... esp the story about finding your dress for $5.00. I think I paid more than that for the dress I wore as mother of the bride/mother of the groom...but I have found it amusing that for all my children's weddings (4 of our 5 are married), I wore the same dress for every one... it started as an accident or convenience - but then became a "thing". If my youngest son ever weds, I hope to still be able to FIT into the same dress for the final wedding family photo... It's not a $5.00 dress, but the best I could do! Blessings on your family, and Emma and Ben!
I have a lot of thoughts. First, congratulations!! Second, I feel like I just got my oldest graduated from high school and now she’s discussing marriage with her college boyfriend and I’m not sure I’m ready for this. ALSO, what a blessing to find a mate young. More and more are choosing to “love” themselves over commitment to another person in holy matrimony and I do actually agree that it’s more rare to choose marriage.
My daughter asked me if her dad and I wrote our own vows, and I said absolutely not. We used the traditional vows, because marriage is serious business. In contrast I remember my younger cousin getting married and their vow to “stay hot” for each other, and I just don’t see how that’s 1. Attainable, and 2. Helpful when life goes sideways.
Anyway, the title of your post immediately made me giggle and think “oh no” because as an elder millennial <slash> Gen X-er, I know to what song you were referring.
Hoping you get a much deserved rest!!!
Yes! While watching various TikTok clips of Europeans (and the odd South African) going into raptures, especially over the food, my husband was questioning what they are eating in Europe, especially what they are doing to their meats. Then I reminded him how we feel about the bread in Europe and the lengths I've gone just to get a decent croissant in America, and he then understood. Although my friend/realtor did once drop off croissants from a French bakery about a 40 minute drive from us that is in a direction we just never drive (in Houston Metro traffic) which ALMOST makes it worse. I have eaten THE most delicious bread products in Germany, Italy, Ukraine, and even IRELAND- so it doesn't need to be a French Bakery, but it does need to be European.
What has taken the Internet by storm, I think, is the fact that after decades of the media telling everyone how dangerous America is, with all our guns, and how ugly Americans allegedly are, so how terrible this World Cup was going to be, for the parts in the US, and people believe it. Even Americans. And the tourists descended on America, not just on Orlando and NYC, and are shocked and awed at how nice things are and how friendly the people, particularly in the South, and are undoing decades of propaganda to the contrary. Bridget Phetasy said it's the 250th birthday present America needed. :)
The Sunday game Germany v Curacao might have been interrupted by torrential rains (we were interrupted by it on our drive to drop our 8 yr old off at camp) but NRG stadium in Houston has a roof. LOL
My ECA Priest wouldn't even consider the 1622 vows. He wouldn't even do Rite I. :P
Exactly, this is like a world's fair for us! This is the 250th birthday present.
American media would gladly have you believe that Europeans would all come over here and lecture and protest, but I love that the truth is more fun than the propaganda!
Isn’t it wonderful when you’ve planned and worked and fretted over and prayed about an event, and then the day comes and God just pours out His glorious blessings on you and your family and your guests? Then your prayers change from “Help!” to “Thank you, Father, for blessing us more than we thought possible.” Thank you, Anne, for sharing this with us.
You were a wonderful with all the wedding prep and it paid off in a beautiful wedding & reception.
Very many congratulations to you and Matt, and to the happy couple, and whole family/families!
As theatre superstition puts it: "Bad dress rehearsal; great opening night." Better to have rained at the rehearsal dinner than the day of! Emma looks lovely in her beautiful gown and shawl! And the lucky man's name is? Blessing upon blessing upon the fortunate couple. To have fund one another--isn't God good! May Christ always be the center of their marriage. And save some berry cobbler for me! Yummy!! Get some rest!
It's amazing how so many people no longer take their marriage vows seriously. If they decide they are not happy, they file for divorce. They aren't willing to acknowledge that they are committing a terrible betrayal. If we are going to allow no-fault divorce, perhaps we should change the wedding vows. Instead of "til death do us part," they should be "til one of us no longer feels like it." At least then, divorce wouldn't be a betrayal.
I remember the shock I felt when my oldest son joked about “starter marriages” as if you could practice such a thing…he’s on his second marriage as I write this. I sometimes wonder at how my children have viewed and examined their parents’ long and happy marriage…how could they not learn SOMEthing from our quarrels and apologies and fidelity and faith? Thank Our Precious Savior for redemption and mercy and grace.
Dearest Anne, Fret not your heart, those forks and spoons are in the trash. For most of my adult years have been spent married to one man and our 8 children. Together we have produced people who will accidentally throw away the spoons and knives. Plastic plates we will use but hardly ever a plastic fork or spoon. You get the idea. Knives just don’t get used as much. I don’t think much of the population, even at church pot lucks, is much different. It really should be scientifically studied.
I think you've earned a long rest Anne! Don't write posts this week if you don't feel like it!
We all know you're exhausted!
(Also congrats to the lovely couple!)
Excellent words! Read some of them to my wife. You are, in a sense, a kindred spirit with our youngest daughter. She is a lawyer who left the legal profession to stay at home and raise her two children. She has always bought her clothes at thrift stores and Goodwill. Got her wedding gown on ebay for $100, then paid $30 to have it cleaned. So the $5 dress definitely struck a chord. Congratulations and prayers for you and the new married couple!
Our eldest daughter married in 2004, and her sister in 2005. They were beautiful weddings - one in summer, and the other right before Christmas with seasonally appropriate decorations and arrangements.
Preparing for a wedding does involve a lot of work, stress, and even tribulation. It’s like life; and then, the celebration is like finally being in heaven!
A dear friend’s wedding advice is to get married close to Christmas because the church is already decorated!
😃
Mazel tov to the newly married couple! How lovely a wedding it appears to have been!!! Yay for them!