How To Cope With Election Anxiety

Narrator: It's Not More Self-Care

Photo by Jen P. on Unsplash

There’s an old clip of Matt Chandler waving his arms about his White Privilege making its way around Twitter, which is, honestly, as decadent as you might expect in these latter sybarite times. Which leads me to believe that it’s time for an intentional wellness journey into the Land of Self Care. Miles posted this article, so you can blame him for the forthcoming indulgence. LET’S DIVE IN, shall we? It’s called:

How to cope with election anxiety: 'Self-care is paramount'

Gosh, I know things are terrible, but it hadn’t occurred to me to have “anxiety” about the election. Sure, it’s a stressful time, but I’m not Kimberly Cheatle. Do I really need to caccoon myself in a haze of long walks on the beach? Especially as I am so behind on the tasks associated with just being a regular person, tasks that have actual bearing on the everyday lives of all the people I live in close and essential proximity to.

I think we all know the answer to that, and it’s Have Moar Anxiety:

It's a tumultuous time in American politics. An assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump. President Joe Biden dropping out of the election race at the 11th hour. Lots of talk about who would replace him. These historic events are among the latest political shake-ups to bring more election anxiety and angst to a voting public whose nerves already were frayed. At such a high-stress time, mental health professionals in metro Detroit say coping with election anxiety is imperative.

I really really don’t want to be a jerk, but “election anxiety” is literaleigh the most boutique thing I can think of right now. Everyone I know is anxious, but not because some other person is going to ascend the marble halls of American political dysfunction. It’s more like how everything is getting harder and more stupid all the time. Anyway,

"Self-care is paramount," said Dr. L.A. Barlow, a clinical psychologist with DMC Detroit Receiving Hospital.

I don’t know who Dr. L.A. Barlow is, or why this person has the authority to speak on any issue, but anyone who can be quoted saying “Self-care is paramount” in the year of our Lord, twenty-twenty-four deserves to be memed into oblivion. We carry on:

"And a big part of this goes back to the tribalism that has been basically expanding and becoming stronger over the past several years. Instead of being excited about my side to win, we are being terrified of the other sides," he said. "I mean, a lot of Americans have got to the point that they believe 50% of Americans are a bunch of idiots who want to basically destroy this country, which is not true. … We share a lot of interests. We share a lot of ideas, a lot of thoughts, but the politics have got to the point that they find one difference between you and I to basically divide us as two totally separate tribes that hate each other."

How does Dr. L.A. Barlow know that “isn’t true?” I’d like to see the data, please, before I relinguish the delightful idea that 50% of Americans are a bunch of idiots. Isn’t hating people our new national pastime?

No me, of course. I love my neighbor, as I am reminded to do every day by Christian Twitter.

"And human beings, in general, we don't do well when we are uncertain about the outcomes or we are not certain that things will go as planned," Prabhakar said. "That leads to causing more anxiety."

Did people go to school to discover this fascinating piece of information?

He said people should allocate a certain amount of time to monitoring current events, but they also should step back, take a breather, and do things that matter to them. “Life is just more than ... the election,” Sablaban said.

What? Are you serious? I don’t believe it. Literally all the news I have imbibed in the last fourteen years has informed me that this is not the case. The election is the only thing that matters. That’s why I wake up in the morning, for all the election news.